Be ye therefore followers of God, as dear children; And walk in love, as Christ also hath loved us, and hath given himself for us an offering and a sacrifice to God for a sweet smelling savour.
Ephesians 5:25 Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ also loved the church, and gave himself for it;
How do you love? Do you love like Christ loves or is your “love” something you use to manipulate others or feed your own selfish desires? Loving others is not a mere suggestion by God it is a command. Ephesians 5 tells us a lot about how to behave and how we are expected to love.
The divorce rate is up to about 60% and that includes Christians. What is wrong with that picture? If we are loving others the way we are told to by God then what would be the reason for divorce? It takes two to make a marriage work so therefore it is necessary for both of you to be concerned about your walk with God. If you are willing to settle for a mediocre walk with God then odds are you will at best have a mediocre marriage. If one of you is sold out and the other is just along for the ride soaking up the benefits with no concern for their spouse then your marriage will never be all it can be.
The key according to these verses is for our love to be like Christ’s love, especially the men in a marriage. Christ was willing to lay down his life for the church and a man’s love for his wife should be equal to that. Women thrive under that kind of love. Women need to love their husbands in a way that will show them respect. Men thrive on being built up and knowing someone believes in them even when the chips are down. A lot of times these actions are a choice. We cannot always base things on the way we feel, we need to pray and ask God for the right feelings as we do what we know to be right as a spouse. There may be times a woman isn’t easy for a man to love the way Christ did but if you do you may be surprised at the wife she turns into. A man may not always really deserve your respect in every area but if you willingly choose to show respect based on what you know to really be true about him overlooking mistakes he makes you may be surprised at the man he turns into. We have to stop waiting for our spouses to do what is right! You could wait forever and all the while they are waiting for you to change too and neither of you have accomplished anything other than being as miserable as you can be as your marriage slides even further down hill.
Satan is after our marriages and it is time we all take a stand and fight back! It isn’t easy, no relationship is easy and they all require work! If your marriage is struggling find a good counselor and or some great books on marriage, Love Dare is great, especially if both of you do it together. There are so many little things that can be done to make each other feel special, pray and ask God for direction in that area. While couples sit around and wait for the other person to do what is right Satan is winning battles right and left destroying their marriage right before their eyes. Is it worth that to you? Is it worth waiting for your spouse to make the first move? Is it worth being too lazy to work at it? God created marriage for a woman and a man to come together and to help the other be all they can be in life for God and for their family, that does not come by only being in it for yourself. Take the time and evaluate how you look at your spouse and the “love” you have for them; is it all about you or all about them? Doing special things for someone you love should be something that flows out of the love you have for them to the point that it almost has to be controlled, it shouldn’t be a major effort.
Take the time to read 1 Corinthians 13 – does that describe you and your love for your spouse? We need to create an army of women committed to their marriages and if your spouse isn’t what he needs to be I would encourage you to try to get him to counseling – if he is unwilling don’t push it I would encourage you to just pray for both of you and still work at being who you need to be one day at a time.
“Until you make peace with who you are you will never be content with what you have.” Doris Mortman