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If your brother sins against you, go and tell him his fault, between you and him alone. If he listens to you, you have gained your brother.
What is the purpose of holding a grudge? I know people who hold grudges for years, just holding onto what someone has done to them so maybe, just maybe, one day they can either point it out in revenge or they can use it somehow. Wow! What a silly way to spend energy. What do you really gain by doing that?
The Bible is very clear in this verse first of all that you are to go and tell him/her what has happened that offended you and keep it between you and them. Don’t run around telling everyone else what was done if you haven’t gone to them alone to try to resolve the issue. Nothing is gained by getting everyone else worked up over something that only the two of you can fix.
There are times when the other person doesn’t even know you are offended or they have no idea what you are offended about. I had a lady that I, for the life of me, still to this day have no idea what I said or did to offend her because the only conversation we had had when she became offended was my asking her for prayer for one of my children. I asked but could never get an answer about why she was offended, which is really sad because I believe we could have been great friends. Don’t lose relationships in your life just because you feel like holding a grudge ~ let it go and give it to God, learn to become quick to forgive! It is more important to hold onto the relationship than it is to hold onto the grudge!
Now on the other side of this is the fact that it doesn’t take much to offend some people. Are you easily offended or do you tend to let things roll off when it doesn’t really matter in the over all scheme of things? We need to become women who do not wear our feelings on our sleeves. We need to show the grace of God to others and forgive and focus on Him instead of small offenses. Don’t allow Satan to disrupt your life by allowing every little thing offend you. Let it go!
As this verse says at the end, “If he listens to you, you have gained your brother.” How much better would life be to hang onto those close relationships than to allow minor offenses come between you. No matter what the level of offense is, it is better to try to work things out in a godly fashion than to allow the offense to grow and miss out on all that could come from that relationship.
I would like to encourage you today to ask God if there’s something that you are hanging onto that you need to give to Him and allow Him to guide you in making things right between you and someone else. If the relationship can be restored, you have gained your “brother”.
“Though no one can go back and make a brand new start, anyone can start from now and make a brand new ending.” Carl Bard